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A Postcard From The Last Man On Earth

Hello 
Once again I'm talking to myself 
As I walk through the world 
Singing the songs the world used to love 
When there wsa still a world to give love 
When there was still a world to love 
But I walk with enough lonliness to make a nomad proud 
The images of all my friends stays with me during these times 
Even though the memories weren't always pleasant the people always were 
Sometimes I would leave them so I wouldn't have to suffer
And times like these I reminisce about why I was suffering 
While I was loved they wouldn't have wanted to know how I was doing 
A smile or a joke or two and carefully worded mistruths 
And they believe the world inside my head is still spinning around as it should 
Luckily I could always hide in my sheltered mind while the world burned 
And now that it's only ashes and the bones of my hated and loved ones 
It's easier to hurt day to day without wearing myself out trying to act happy 
But it wasn't always this way although lonely as it is I like the truth better 
What was I dreaming about? A penny for my thoughts? 
I didn't dream, I didn't sleep last night and I wasn't thinking anything 
Sometimes I would lay defeated on my bed of shame 
When I would have to fight emotional battles unarmed and unwillingly 
With opponents who didn't know better and wouldn't want to know anyway 
I would be blamed if there was anyone left on earth to critize me 
For being so untrusting with myself, these damn feelings and everyone else 
Would the world still be standing and my friends still alive if I weren't so dumb?
If I'd told them that my life sucks? If I told them I was lonely? 
If just once I said I wanted to be the rule and not the exception? 
I wanted everything that all of my friends had in their lives 
Someone to talk to, someone to turn to 24-7, and a significant other to always hold 
Alas I became my own best listener just like I was for them 
And I always turn to me so much I wish I wouldn't just like they did 
But I'd hug myself in the night to make me think I'm being held-they never did that 
But they never had to, they never had the reason to 
When all the world wants from you is great friendship not sex you bite the bullet 
I didn't break easily but I couldn't take much more I had to get out 
So I destroyed my world so there wouldn't be a world left to kill me 
But it's only a dream none of these great things ever happened to me 
And tomorrow I will go face down the same old shit like I always do 
For a little while at least I can imagine I don't need anyone to care for me 
Because I've destroyed them all and my depression with them 
I'd be so lucky to have such a trade 
But I need the people who think they love me I need to hear how they are 
I need to know how their whole life scene is going 
And I need to unload how I feel on someone who can take it or at least cares 
Nobody wants to hear me ramble anyway

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